Job Fraud (guest post by Jen Curran)

Next month, it will have been a year since I quit my desk job as an assistant at an entertainment law firm. I didn’t hate the job. In fact, certain aspects of it were pretty great. I was allowed to wear what I wanted, I didn’t have to be in the office until 10am, I got to chat with celebrities, I received a sizable bonus at the end of every year. The perks were undeniable and my position itself was pretty easy.

But I was still totally miserable. I felt like a fraud.

Despite whatever (the hell) I told my boss when I first interviewed for the job, I didn’t want to be an entertainment lawyer. And I didn't want to work for one. I didn't love answering phones, helping clients, having "great customer service skills," or being "detail oriented." Boo! Hiss!

Beyond that, I didn't want to clock in and out of someone else’s company every day, or be beholden to their schedule, their vacation time, their lunch break rules. I wasn’t even allowed to get up to pee without asking someone to “cover my phones.” All I wanted to do was light the whole place on fire and steal some fancy pens on my way out the door.

Basically, I felt like a huge phony. I didn't fit in. I rushed out of the office every night to get to a rehearsal or a show and occasionally called in sick to go on auditions or make comedy videos with my friends. I spent much of my free time at the job writing my blog or working on other creative pursuits. And it didn’t seem like any of the other assistants were living this kind of double life. They got excited when we got a new Xerox machine and checked their work email on Sundays, while I cringed at the idea of spending another six months in that office. I didn't want to judge any of my colleagues, but it seemed like they'd settled. And I was becoming one of them. I wanted to poke my eyes out.

Being true to yourself, to what you love and to who you are can be terrifying. What if people judge you? What if who you are isn’t interesting enough? What if you don’t like what you find? Quitting my job to follow my bliss and pursue what makes me passionate found me asking all those questions. But the alternative - walking around feeling like a fraud all the time - was worse.

When I realized that being authentically who I am was more important to me than a predictable salary and the option to have expensive health insurance, possibilities and opportunities began to pop up all over the place. I knew I had to explore them.

It was scary to tell the office manager, a woman who'd worked at the company for ten years, that I wasn't cut out for the job, that I couldn't see myself sticking it out for even half the time she had. I felt guilty and awkward and even ashamed to confess to her that I didn’t like my job. But I was surprised when she told me if she didn't have a little girl at home, she might consider making a change too. It was scary to tell my grandparents that I was leaving a good job during an awful economy to pursue a more creative career. But they've been very supportive too. Most of all, it was scary to admit to myself that this was a risk I had to take. If I didn't seek out a more authentic career for myself, I knew I’d regret it for the rest of my life.

Now, a year later, I'm doing work that I absolutely love. I don't have it all figured out yet and it's never easy – I’m still learning how to make ends meet while juggling a hectic schedule. And sometimes I miss the stability of my boring old desk job. But I feel better. I feel comfortable, content, and more confident in my own skin. I’m not perfect and my path is still a bumpy one, but now I know I’m doing everything I can to make my life authentically fulfilling for me. Otherwise what’s the point?

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.



Guest Post: Jen Curran on Four Inspiring Blogs

Happy Thursday! We loved having Jen Curran guest post for us in August so much that we asked her to do a bonus post to help us wrap up our Inspiration Month! Thanks so much, Jen! We've loved having you!!

My Not-So-Guilty Pleasure: Four Inspiring Blogs

Long before I had a blog of my own, I was obsessed with them. I was first introduced to the blog concept while I was losing weight in my early twenties. I was a member of a message board online where people shared their struggles and victories, and a few brave women from that forum began their own compelling sites. I read their stories every single day – I craved them.

While we can all agree that the Internet can be a huge time suck (as in, do I need therapy for this?), there's no denying that we are inspired, challenged and moved by one another online all the time.

Needless to say, following those weight loss blogs really helped me on my own journey. Whenever I felt like I couldn't stand the thought of eating another vegetable or clocking another hour at the gym, I'd force myself to get re-focused by catching up on some blog reading. Worked every time.

Today, I’ve become obsessed with so many blogs about a wide variety of topics. And as much as checking in on some of my favorites doesn't always feel "productive," I'm so often inspired by them, I’d have a hard time giving them up. Blogs are my not-so-guilty pleasure.

I'd love to share with you a few of my favorites – some of the sites I’ve been inspired by recently, and the bloggers behind them:

When Ms. Single Mama gave birth to her baby boy she already knew her marriage was over. Her relationship with her husband wasn't what she'd expected, and it certainly wasn't what she wanted for herself or the baby. She left when Benjamin was only four months old. Since she started her blog a few years ago, Alaina has made some inspiring personal, professional, and (romantic!) relationship progress. Today, she's engaged to be married to an amazing man and her little son is as happy as can be. Alaina's writing is funny, insightful and honest. Even if you can't relate to her circumstances, you will love her warmth and common sense.

White Elephant in the Room is a new find for me. A couple years ago I became obsessed with the blog of a young father and husband who lost his wife a mere 24 hours after their baby was born. Matt's heartbreaking account of his unthinkable situation soon became a national news story, was featured on "Oprah" and he's even about to publish a book. My boyfriend couldn't believe I was so fixated by a blog about losing your wife - he didn't understand the draw and thought it was depressing that I was reading about death. But to me, there’s something so human and even sometimes uplifting about stories like Matt's. They put things in perspective. White Elephant in the Room: Memoirs of a 30-Something Widow is a lovely new blog written by a woman named Tre who lost her partner Alberto. I'm captivated. She shares her pain, her loss and her undying love for her late husband with such eloquence, grace and courage. It's a truly inspiring read that reminds me to appreciate the love in my life every single day.

A Year In Pictures Following The Break-up is an oldie but a goodie. Long story short: a young couple had a serious relationship for many years, got engaged, and then broke up. And in his blog about working through and eventually getting over their split, Arnie shares what it's like to be a guy with a broken heart. It's a touching, funny site that he kept for precisely one year (2006), as the title implies. Arnie’s story reminded me that wounds eventually heal. Start at the beginning and read it like a book. He’s since gone on to keep other "A Year In..." blogs and the current version follows Arnie and his now girlfriend as they plan their upcoming wedding!

Ramshackle Glam is written by Jordan Reid. I like her because she's fearless. Not to lead with the negative, but she's been the victim of some nasty commenters who followed her to her new blog after she left the widely criticized NonSociety.com. Not only do Jordan’s detractors have something negative to say about almost everything she does, they've started an entire website dedicated to mocking her whole life. This is something Internet celebrities like Julia Allison might be used to, but it's a surprise to see such negativity directed at someone like Jordan, who comes off as a sweet, cheerful, do-it-yourself domestic, a charming and natural writer and TV show host, and a loving, devoted wife to her adorable husband. (You'll have to check out her site for the sweet story of their quick courtship and marriage.) In a phrase, Jordan is inspiring because she refuses to be thrown off course by people who judge her. And her site is a great collection of simple, unpretentious recipes, smart ideas for housekeeping and decor, and fabulous ways to make the most of New York City, her native town. Best of all, she quit an office job that didn't suit her to get where she is today! If you're looking for an inspirational, brave and positive site, visit hers. 

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.

When You Don't Wanna

Note from Spring Gals: This is a guest post from our fabulous regular contributor Jen Curran of Follow My Bliss.

Earlier this month, I was brimming with ideas to share on August’s theme: inspiration. But when this week rolled around my heart sank at the idea of having to come up with yet another take on the subject. I wanted to pull my hair out, kick, scream, make my ugly crying face, write the word on my living room wall with my own blood and throw spitballs at it.  

Okay?  

There’s no particular reason why I felt this way all of a sudden, but it was an undeniable sensation. Luckily I can’t stand the idea of cutting myself intentionally so it didn’t go any further. But still.  

We all experience that stuck feeling. Whether we’re unmotivated to tackle our to-do lists, uninspired by a mandatory project, or just exhausted by the idea of slogging through another day of work, we all occasionally become disenchanted with our obligations and commitments, even when we’re usually passionate about them.  

For instance, in addition to being a writer, I’m an actor. Cast as the lead in my school play in the fifth grade, the ego boost went straight to my head and never went away. Today acting is one of only a handful of jobs about which I’m truly passionate.  

I love it so much that I went to NYU Tisch, got my BFA in theater, and I’ve gleefully been an underpaid sketch comedian and improviser ever since.  

Still, as much as I adore performing, there are times when I just don’t wanna. I’ll be on my way to the theater and I just won’t feel like exerting the energy today. I’ll feel bored, uninspired and exhausted. Maybe I’ll even feel like throwing some spitballs.  

But I don’t have a choice. It’s my obligation to show up, behave like a moderately well-adjusted person, get up on stage, and do what I know how to do. I’ve made a commitment to my colleagues and to myself, so there’s no other option.  

So, how do you marry creative inspiration with deadlines and schedules? When you make your passion your career, you’ve got no choice but to do the job whether inspiration strikes or not. How can you learn to be creative on command without having to draw your own blood to make it happen?  

Well, unfortunately there’s no easy way out. There’s no free pass. You just do.  

Start by practicing being creative every day whether you’re inspired or not, so that when you’re under the gun to produce on command, you’re prepared. And when you’re faced with that project that seems like it might suck your organs out because you so don’t wanna, just suck it up and get it done anyway.  

Sure, being inspired is wonderful, but it’s a tricky thing because it comes and goes as it pleases, so don’t count on it. When you’ve made your passion your career, inspiration is a luxury, not a requirement.

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.

Guest Post by Jen Curran: Let Your Past Inspire Your Present

We all have a story to tell about where we’ve come from and what’s happened along the way. Idyllic or challenging, memorable or regretful, no matter what your past means to you, it’s an undeniably fundamental element of who you are as a person and as an artist.  

In fact, you alone have an expertise on the subject of your past that no one else on the planet can lay claim to, along with an incredibly connected relationship to the feelings, sensations and lessons offered to you over time. Your own story is the one subject on which you are guaranteed to be the world’s leading expert. Granted, if you’re a smartypants there may be other subjects, but no one else shares the expertise you’ve gained from the life you’ve lived so far.

As a creative person and someone who seeks to be inspired, your past is an amazing treasure. It means you have a wealth of inspiration at your fingertips. So don’t be afraid to explore it.

At the ripe old age of 29, my past is checkered at best. I had a fun, “normal” childhood and adolescence. But college tripped me up. I found myself plunged into a depression at age 18 that lasted far too long. I struggled for years - to understand why I was so sad and hopeless, to curb my impulsive nature so as not to get into too much trouble, and to grow out of whatever had its fingers wrapped around my throat.

That psychological mess led me down a lot of interesting, colorful, and often dangerous paths, but I got through them all. And here I sit, about to turn 30, armed with a truckload of experiences and memories from my early twenties that I look to for inspiration every day.

From an artistic perspective, surviving a difficult young adulthood is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m now far enough away from the painful reality of that time to always be mining it for creative material. I consider this my reward for having weathered the storm.

Have you heard the idea that a writer has a story she must tell first, before she can fully give attention to other projects? The same seems to hold true for most types of artists. Film directors will talk about the movie they always knew they’d make, or the concept they couldn’t shake until they’d finally produced it. Actors will talk about the relationship they knew they needed to explore, or the character they’d always felt they needed to play. Painters will produce a series of pieces they say they had to work through first before they could move onto other periods.

This is so common among creative minds because we all possess stories, feelings, lessons, memories and themes from our past that have deeply impacted us. They can haunt us, intrigue us, define us, but they inform our work all the time, whether we know it or not. And sometimes their pull is so strong that we can’t really be free to move onto other projects until we’ve fully shared our own story.

While many of us often seek inspiration from the world outside ourselves, looking to our own unique story to pique our creative instincts can be just as richly inspiring, and can even help us to create work that is more compelling and relatable to our audience.

Best of all, after we’ve shared the story we’re destined to share, we’re finally free to uncover what lies beneath.

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.



Guest Post by Jen Curran: The Jet Blue Flight Attendant

We’ve all heard the story by now. Earlier this week a JetBlue flight attendant was conked on the head when a piece of luggage fell out of the overhead bin right after which he was cursed out by a passenger who refused follow regulations. It was in that moment, it seems, that Steven Slater decided he’d had enough. He quit his job. And the way he did it made headlines around the world.

The 38-year-old man from Queens delivered a foul-mouthed rant over the loudspeaker, grabbed a beer from the beverage cart, deployed the big, yellow emergency chute that you’ve only ever seen in the safety brochure, and slid from the plane to his freedom 

His story certainly is a sensational one, but he didn’t walk away unscathed. Slater was arrested the next day for a variety of charges including criminal mischief and reckless endangerment. He disturbed an entire plane-full of passengers, could have potentially tarnished JetBlue’s safety record, or worse, hurt someone in his frenzy to escape.

Except nobody’s all that upset about how Steven Slater quit his job. In fact, most Americans seem rather inspired by it!

Slater did what many of us wish we could do: he boldly followed his impulses without regard for the social consequences, told a rude customer what he really thinks, made a huge life decision at a moment’s notice, followed through on it without obsessively weighing all the options, expenses and logical line items, and he did it all with a dramatic flare usually reserved for an action hero.

Would the majority of Americans actually do what Steven Slater did? If given a chance, would most of us choose to change our lives by burning bridges and ignoring the consequences? Probably not.

Still, there’s a reason so many people are undeniably inspired by Slater’s remarkable if not bizarre exit from his 20-year career as a flight attendant, even if they can’t imagine doing the same thing themselves.

You don’t have to agree with a person’s methodology or be able to relate to their choices to be inspired by what motivates them.

Inspiration can come from unlikely places. So pay attention. You never know what could inspire you to make a change. 

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.