Guest Post: A Lesser Person Couldn't

I remember catching an Oprah episode a few years ago that featured a woman who’d had to have both of her breasts removed.

Yeah, heavy stuff.

I don’t recall many of the specifics surrounding the story (my brain tends not to work that way), but luckily they’re not essential to my point.

I do remember that Oprah invited a therapist onto the show to help the woman process the experience. Dealing with her situation as best as she could, she still struggled from time to time to accept herself, as any woman would. She expressed sadness and shame at losing such a huge aspect of her femininity, at feeling envious of other women who could still fill out their bras.

She cried a little, Oprah consoled her with some of her isms. It was run of the mill.

But then the therapist told her something I’ll never forget. She said, “A lesser woman would not be able to handle this experience. Whatever you believe in your life, please know that you’re going through this because you’re capable of dealing with it. A lesser woman could not handle the hand you’ve been dealt.”

I couldn’t help but tear up when I heard that. After breast reduction surgery and major weight loss in my early twenties, my body is far from unscathed. And for years I’ve had to work to accept my scars and battle a nagging “Why me?” voice that wishes things could have been different.

But when I saw that Oprah show and heard that therapist’s point of view– a lesser woman couldn’t get through what you’ve gotten through – I knew it was true for me too. I’ve certainly had my moments of being challenged by my situation, but I’ve always faced it bravely and with a desire to love myself through the process.

Perhaps the very act of being handed a difficult path in life makes you instantly stronger. But regardless, I began to understand that I bear the scars of my surgery and my weight loss because…well…because I can. Because I am strong enough to handle it.

Caring for yourself when it comes to your body means loving your physical self without condition. And learning to love your body without condition means believing that whatever you’ve been dealt is uniquely yours because you’re uniquely qualified to handle it.

Whether you’ve got a strange scar on your face or misshapen boobs, whether you think you’re too tall and lanky, or too short and stocky, whether you’ve battled illness or a body that won’t cooperate, love yourself enough to believe that you are capable of playing your own cards.

A lesser person couldn’t.

Jen Curran is a writer, comedienne, and baker living in Brooklyn, NY. Jen recently quit her "boring desk job" at a law firm to pursue what makes her happiest, and she chronicles the inspiring, messy, colorful journey on her popular blog "follow my bliss." Besides spending her time as a freelance writer, Jen also owns the boutique wholesale bakery, Fanny & Jane, she's a member of the award-winning sketch comedy group, Harvard Sailing Team, and she performs improv comedy at The PIT in NYC. She draws inspiration from her two zen cats, her talented, supportive boyfriend, her big, boisterous family, and from a sincere belief that anything we put our minds to becomes instantly possible.

Comments

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I love love love this perspective. Also, I love that you said "boobs".

Thanks for sharing this story & how it affected you, Jen!

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