I am really loving what you're all doing here.

Oooh, i could do with a Happy Book right now! Oh, but I can't see the video? I looked back over the posts, and I can see Episode 2 and Jess's intro, but the others are all "unavailable". What a a pity (though I already know they're great) :)

@ Cass: Thanks so much for your support and encouragement :).

@ Zoe: Hmm. Thanks for letting us know. I'm sorry they aren't working for you. They seem to be fine for me...

I am still having a "This video not currently available" problem. Can anyone tell me why that is? Other folks are seeing the videos....could it be my computer settings?

So sorry so many of you are having trouble! All of us Spring ladies haven't had this problem, so we're at a bit of a loss. We're trying to get our tech guy on it, though, so stay with us!

First I must say how very much I'm loving Spring! I've enjoyed all of the discussions and it is especially great that this month the talks are weekly. Thank you all for sharing with us:)
Just to pipe in on the technical issues, I've pretty consistently had problems playing the videos from the Spring website, but no problems from Jessica Gonacha Swift's Treasuring blog. So to watch this one I went to this older post: http://jessgonacha.blogspot.com/2010/02/spring-inspiration-in-bloom-episode-3.html and then clicked on menu on the video (far right, looks like MEN on my screen) and selected Spring Episode 3, Part 2 of 4. Worked like a charm!

Michelle, my dear, you can't enter the giveaway! You pick the recipient -- that seems fishy to me.... would random.org randomly pick you each week? I could totally see that happening! But at least now I know what to get you for your next gift!

But yay for all our wonderful Spring supporters who get to enter the giveaways - how fun! And don't forget - there are 4 weeks of giveaways during the month of February. Soo you can still enter the week one giveaway by adding a comment to last week's video!

Great episode! So appropriate today. I was just thinking about this whole tribe thing. Was discussing it with the Mondo Beyondo folks this morning.

I love what Carolyn said about how we get sucked into popular tribes. I find myself there often. My struggle is determining whether or not those that I want in my tribe actually want to be in it. I have no problem listing people that I'd like to have on my bus, but I fear that they won't want to come aboard.

I think my thinking is skewed. I probably shouldn't (there's that damn word) even be considering these people for my bus if I'm not certain that they think I'm as awesome as I think they are. I mean, I should be filling my bus with people that honor me in similar ways that I honor them... we should complete each other in a sense... or at least add value to each other. It should be a complimentary relationship.

In working with Michelle, I mentioned that I have a VIP list of people that I want to collaborate with. She made me change it to "Awesome people that I want to work with who think I'm awesome and want to work with me too." I did what she instructed (because I'm such a rule follower and damn it, I want people to like me) but it was/is hard. I love the concept, the idea of it. But in the back of my mind there's the fear that these awesome people might not think I'm as awesome as I think they are. And the fact that I was wrist slapped by one of the people I use to admire (one of those super popular tribe leaders) most turned that fear into a vicious self-doubt monster.

My question is HOW DO YOU KNOW that the people you want in your tribe are your "right people"? How do you know they are game for being in your tribe? I see the 4 of you come together on my screen and you all compliment each other so well. How did this happen? How did the 4 of you know that you were each members of the others' tribes?

So I'm writing my comment as I'm listening and now you're telling me that I have to ASK for support?! *faints* You mean I'm not supposed to just expect it to be there, then be all disappointed when it's not there? Seriously, although it seems the former would be common sense, I often find myself doing the latter and throwing a pity party when I feel as if I'm not getting the support I want/need/deserve.

Like Jess S, the phone scares me for the same reasons. You are not alone. I'm so going to tackle this fear. I have found myself asking for what I want/need a little more often lately, so this whole episode was just the reassurance I needed today. Thank you ladies!

Perhaps a blog post might be better than spilling my guts here in the comments section... I still might do that.

And excellent choice for the giveaway! Yeehaw! I'd love to have this book in my library! I'm doing Jamie Ridler's, "The Next Chapter" mail around featuring this book and I can't wait to get it to see what others have added. I do want my very own copy as well though so *fingers crossed* that I might win.

If I call one of you and ask you for your support will I win? ;-)

Have an amazing week girls!!!

xo,
Carmen

What a timely topic for me! Just last week I had an "Aha!" moment regarding my ability to let others support and get closer to me. I grew up with a bio-dad who was fun but unreliable. In learning to keep my distance and just accept what he could give, I realized I've created a pattern in making friends where I always assume the ball is in the other person's court and get disappointed when a friendship doesn't get any further.

I'm sure I leave other people feeling that I don't care way too often and feel so embarrassed at my social ineptitude :) Now I'm working on taking the initiative with friends. Gotta make up for lost time!

@Amanda - I can totally relate to how you feel re: your relationships with your friends. I have such similar thoughts as you on this topic and love your last statement... "Now I'm working on taking the initiative with friends. Gotta make up for lost time!" --> New call to action for me and other brave individuals in the Spring tribe!

Darn, I cannot see it either. I have had the same problem. Some of them I could view and some I could not. Was really hoping to view this one.

We're so frustrated about this, guys! Can everyone that can't see the video tell us what browser you're using as well as the type of computer you're on? All of us Spring gals can view it & never had any problems, which is why it's tough for us to fix. We promise to get to the bottom of this!

I have DSL and Internet Explorer and I am having trouble viewing the videos :( I would definitely like to be able to watch them! I would also love to enter the giveaway for the Happy book!

1. So glad I'm not the only one who goes through this mad newsletter/blog subscription phase and then has to weed out the people who don't really speak to me. I once wrote to Michelle that her newsletter was one of the few that I alwaysalwaysalways open and read, top to bottom, without fail. I don't even know if I need a career/life coach, but her voice and attitude just clicked with me...while other newsletters about zen living or SARK's juicy newsletters got a glance or just binned immediately.

2. I feel like I might have a little wisdom to offer with Jess LC's great challenge. One of my many hats is working with a nonprofit fundraising consultant, so A LOT of my work is spent calling up utter strangers--either nonprofits we're pitching business to, following up with or a specific nonprofit's donors to get feedback or set up interviews. We have a whole system in place to get the greatest success from these calls--which I now apply to everything like following up calls for artists or web design clients. So, a few tips for those of you freaked out by picking up the phone:
(a) Write a script of what you want to say: one for if they answer the phone and one for if you get their voicemail. Practice your script aloud. Even if you go completely off script once you're on the phone, doing this a few times will settle you down and at least outline a path of where you want the call to go. Plus, it's always there to refer back to if you get flustered.
(b) If you get a voicemail, let the person know that you will call back and give a time frame (eg, at the end of the week, early next week). Then put that follow-up call on your calendar. It's easy to leave one little voicemail, call the job done, and concede defeat. Instead, accept that people are busy, and you can follow-up without being a nag.
(c) Don't call your #1 prospect/VIP first. Make a few (3-5) practice calls first. This lets you get the kinks out of your script and work at establishing how the call goes before you try to get Oprah, Martha Stewart, etc. on the line. ;)
(d) After you've briefly explained the reason for your call, ask if now is a good time to talk. If the person is busy or about to head into a meeting or out the door, this allows you to easily schedule a call at another time.
Hopefully this helps someone out there--because it's really worth picking up the phone vs. voicemail. You lose so many cues and opportunities to establish rapport when using email. :)

I just wanted to leave a quick comment to say that this was by far my most favorite episode that you ladies have done. I drank in every word of wisdom and at the same time battled the feeling (jealously, inspiration, fear...not sure what it was) of wanting to be right there in the conversation with you all. I realized after listening to this that I don't have very much support in my life! I don't say that in a "woe is me" way - i know that I am the only person who can ask for it so I take full responsibility for the lack of it. Oh man...i have a lot to think about. And I guess I have a lot of phone calls to make (thanks Jess!). Thank you for the most sincere place for taking the time to create and share Spring with us. I know it takes a lot of work and I am really grateful for each one of you.

Wow really amazing and thought provoking conversation going on over at Spring!

Very useful post. In the past, I've always let the other person take the initiative because (I tell myself) that shows that they're as interested in me as I am in them. I've come to realize that this is an approach borne of fear and insecurity. There are many reasons why the other person doesn't pursue: sometimes it's the wrong time for them, or their life is too full for them to take the lead, or they're just like you and are waiting for you to take the first step. We set ourselves up if we assume that the reason we don't hear from them is because they don't like us, or they're not interested in being part of our network.

I'm trying to learn that taking control of my life means reaching out and being willing to risk rejection (if, in fact, that's what it is). And also to change my mindset about -- as you discussed -- feeling that I'll burden someone by contacting them or asking for their support. This is one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but I know it's worth the effort.

Yep, the video on the bottom of the post is working and the one at the top still isn't for me. In case that's helpful. Can't wait to see next week's video!:)

Wow, now I can see the second video, what a fantastic topic!

One thing that came up for me, while I was listening, was how do you deal with people who are not supportive, but that you can't walk away from?! I guess I'm thinking mostly about family here, but it could be your boss, or, God forbid, even your partner. I guess you can quit your job if it gets too bad, but what if it's your mum?! Usually, of course, they're really think they ARE being supportive - that they're doing what they think's best. Of course, I guess it's crossed communication - they're not exactly clear what it is you're trying to do and therefore they're not sure what kind of support you need. Or, they might simply think you're wrong! My Mum has a terrible habit of trying to make me be "realistic" - she worries that my hopes are too high, or my dreams too farfetched, and consequently works really hard to bring me back down to earth. While I acknowledge some realism is definitely necessary to make high-falutin' dreams come true, it's a bit of a downer most of the time! But it's not like you can walk away from your mum, or dad, or grandma, or daughter, or whoever it might be. So, I guess what I'm asking, and maybe you guys are already going to talk about this, is how do you make yourself resiliant enough to resist the doubters when they do come? How do you shut them out, or turn their words around, so they don't have the power to scuttle everything out from under you, especially if you can't kick them off the bus?!

I love hearing all you guys chat about these topice - you're doing a great job! Oh, and since this is my second comment - don't enter me twice in the giveaway! I wouldn't want an unfair advantage!!

But yay for all our wonderful Spring supporters who get to enter the giveaways - how fun! And don't forget - there are 4 weeks of giveaways during the month of February. Soo you can still enter the week one giveaway by adding a comment to last week's video!