Good morning, dear Springers! (Ha, that makes me think that we're all Jerry Springer devotees or something -- thank goodness that's not what we're up to around here!)
Today we have different sort of post for you-- we receive so many wonderful comments (thank you!!), and while we all try to respond to them in the comments ourselves, we thought it would be great to answer some of the comments in more depth here on the ole blog. Fun, right? I think this will become a regular thing!
So, let's jump right in:
Jess LC, i loved your video intro! i deeply admire the flexible thinking and living you've exhibited through using your blog as your 'book' and charging full steam ahead to accomplish the same dream, albeit in an alternate format. i think flexibility is KEY to achieving our lofty goals, and it is something i'm working on myself. i hope that you *will* eventually share more about those first 5 months of building your business, and all that you learned and gleaned from that time...
Thank you so much for such a sweet comment. I totally agree! I need to do more about sharing those first five months, they were certainly the hardest ones I've had growing Jess LC. I've recently done an interview where I share a lot of my insights from that time period on The Good Life For Less' Dreamers to Doers series. You can take a look at it here: http://goodlifeforless.blogspot.com/2010/01/dreamers-into-do-ers-jess-of-jess-lc.html. It explains in much greater detail the lessons I've learned.
That said, I can give you a preview of the interview with this excerpt, "...when I moved to Chicago I wrote on a big piece of paper (the only thing on my wall, at the time) "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for" - Oprah. And when I got frustrated with the slow growth of Jess LC those first six months, I would remind myself that I was asking a lot out of life: I wanted a successful business and a media message on a national scale. This helped me have patience and perseverance. I now feel another way to phrase that belief, from my experience, is "You get in life what you have the courage to work towards." Each morning I get up and write a post on the blog. I've learned that I don't need a book or tv show to help people right now."
Watch Jess LC's Intro Video
"I'm a kinda nutty perfectionist and, when Jess was making the comments about Spring not being perfect, I had such a lightbulb moment. Y'know, it's *not* perfect. But if you waited for it to be perfect, you wouldn't have your intros up already, you wouldn't be on episode 2. I say this not to motivate you, but it really resonated with me--you've put this out in this less-than-perfect form, yet it's already connected with and helped a number of people. I'm going to keep that in mind as an inspiration to not allow perfectionism to get in the way of just doing things."
Why are so many of us Creatives - who are supposed to be lazy & disorganized - seem to be such perfectionists?! I'm one too! Running When I Grow Up while having a full-time job has lead me to totally re-evaluate all of that, & I've had to (happily) resign myself to not beat myself up and/or run myself ragged making everything "perfect." How have I shifted my thinking? I'm glad you asked!:
- I'm one person, & only one person. Sometimes I'm 2 people, though, & that's when I delegate things to my VA. Yup - delegation is key for me letting go of the "perfectionism", since I have to relinquish control. So, instead of writing, designing & proofing my newsletter for hours (sometimes I read it so many friggin' times I start unrecognizing common words, like "unrecognize"! Oh wait - that's really not a word), I write it, send it to my VA, & then send her corrections when she sends me proofs. As we work together, she learns more of what I'm looking for, & there's less back & forth, which saves me time & sanity. And having the extra set of eyes actually makes the perfectionist in me happy, since there's more of a chance of it being "perfect" with someone else looking at it, too!
- I've learned to have things be Good Enough as opposed to Perfect. I do recognize that some things need to be Perfect - like the legal wording in my Commitment Agreement or the amount of money that I'm billing my client - but, when I really ask myself, "Must this be Perfect?", a lot of times, the honest answer is "no." Continuing with the newsletter example, I used to spend a half-day fixing the formatting from that stupid thing, because sometimes one section would have smaller type than the other or the fonts wound up being slightly different. Now, I try to fix it for a few minutes, & as long as it's legible & not too ugly, out it goes. There are only so many hours in the day, & I'm only one person. It's Good Enough!
- Being OK with "not knowing." As a life coach, I used to find myself putting pressure on myself to have The Answer (or An Answer), as well as know in advance where a session will go. Once I embraced the fact that the client is in the driver's seat & I'm just helping navigate, it opened up my sessions tremendously & allowed my clients to discover new, exciting things that resonate with them. I bring this into my regular day-to-day activities, & it allows me to just start without racing to get to The (Perfect) Result!
Hope this helps anyone who's plagued by pesky perfectionism! And yes, while I did read this over, I did deem it Good Enough instead of Perfect. Now I can take that bath that needs to happen tonight!
Watch Michelle's Intro Video
Tina: Your confidence and openness is so refreshing. I have blogged on and off for years, but when it comes right down to, the moments where I'm feeling the most vulnerable and raw are the circumstances that have me backing up, away from others, even when I have support and encouragement. Seeing others, like yourself, who can still keep the fire burning instead of letting it fizzle out are those that I admire most in life.
-> Thank you so much, Tina, for sharing your response to my video post. You showed your raw and emotional feelings. I thought about this when you discussed feeling resistance toward blogging during the more imperfect times in life. I don’t want you to think that I don’t retreat as well – or doubt my ability to keep the fire burning. I do – all the time. And it is hard. But the most important thing to keep in mind is that you can pick yourself up, one baby step at a time. You can open up. Sometimes, the hardest part of opening up is opening up to ourselves. We are our own worst critic. Often, we don’t want to immerse ourselves fully in the emotions, in the situation, in the unknown, in the yuckiness, and so we look outward rather than inward. We become immersed in the world around us, and ultimately begin to doubt ourselves. I think that doubt comes from the perspective of looking at oneself as an outsider rather than as an insider. Long response to your initial thoughts – take home message: focus on trusting yourself and opening up to yourself. Then, as you build that personal strength and understanding that you are unique, just like every other individual, you will find it easier to move forward on your own terms, especially if you have support and encouragement. I hope I interpreted your thoughts correctly; if not, please let me know and I can add a bit more.
Tina: I feel like I am destined to let my fires fizzle out before they ever had a chance to build to their brightest because I haven't figured out the secret that all successful people should know. I know that it it's not that simplistic and it never will be, but surely there are little things that can be done to stave off the persistence of "the easier way," giving up on these goals and desires in life.
-> Let’s turn that negative thinking into positive thinking. Just being a part of this Spring community, focused on “Inspiration in Bloom,” means your fire is still there. You can let it fizzle out or you can feed it and let it burn bright. If you want my opinion, I say: bring on the passion. Feed the fire and watch it get brighter and brighter. You have no limits except those you place upon yourself – give yourself permission to remove self-imposed restrictions.
There is no secret for success – no guru, secret potion, or knowledge that must be utilized. There is no one-way path to success.
I’m curious about what you mean by “the easier way,” or “giving up on these goals and desires in life.
Tina: Do you have any advice to share on how you dealt with the overwhelming moments as an adolescent when you were prompted to create your charity? How did you endure?
-> Ignorance is bliss! I was young and had no idea how much work I had ahead of me, so I took the process one step at a time. I encountered difficulties when setting up the organization because of my age and got frustrated with process – and these frustrations often boiled to a point at which I wanted to quit. However, my parents could see the fire within me and knew as entrepreneurs how to face these periods of difficulty. Their support gave me the fuel to push forward over and over again. Support is critical for all that we do.
Tina: How would you define success in your life anyway? Do you feel successful already, or do you feel you have yet to achieve it? Why or why not?
-> My definition of success is evolving. In the past, I equated success with achieving some extrinsic goal. Success meant being reinforced by others. It was never something that I could determine. After a lot of soul searching, I have learned to break this cycle and redefine the role that success plays in my life. This is a difficult, ongoing process. But I don’t spend time actually defining its literal meaning; at this point, it’s not where I want to focus my energy.
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Now, to contradict my thoughts from above – I do feel successful already; however, that feeling doesn’t get me up in the morning. And it doesn’t remove insecurities or fear of failure. Each new moment is a blank slate and I get to decide what to do with it. What a wonderful gift!
Watch Carolyn's Intro Video
I loved loved hearing your story, soup to nuts. It's obvious that you're truly entrepreneurial, despite The Worries that you expressed. I think it would be so interesting to hear more about how you trusted the situation to "work out how it's supposed to", especially when you just decided to go for it (as opposed to being a part-time nanny).
Well, yes, I think I am truly meant to be an entrepreneur! I love working for myself. I just can't see myself allowing someone else determine how my days will be spent for the rest of my life. I think deep down I've known this for a long, long time. I've never liked working for someone else for very long-- it's always ok in the beginning, but I get antsy quickly and yearn to do my own thing. Which is funny, because I don't think I've had a clear idea of what my "thing" is this whole time-- it's something I've been working on discovering. Maybe that's what I mean- it's that search, the discovery, that I want to devote my time to.
So when I decided to quit my job as a nanny, the actual leaving of the job didn't feel that hard. It was more of a relief. It was the agonizing over whether or not to leave the job that was the hard part. Once the decision was finally made it was much easier. I decided I needed a job when I moved to Atlanta 2 1/2 years ago, because my business had mainly been local up to that point, and I didn't know anyone in Georgia. I didn't know anything about the art scene here. It didn't seem possible to make a living the way I had been, so I got a job. But then I got involved in the online community, and things really started to take off. Towards the end of my nannying, I started to see that it was possible that I could make a living as an artist again, just in a different way: largely online. This was EXCITING. Basically it was that excitement, that possibility, that carried me through quitting the job and having faith that I was going to be able to make it. And honestly, it's still what carries me through today. I never know when my next sale is going to come, or when my next freelance gig is going to pop up, but it always does. It's working.
So yes, there's the worry, but there's also the posibilitity, and I think that's just where my mind inherently goes. (Even if it's encased in the worry sometimes!) I'm an optimist who occasionally gets bogged down with negative thoughts. :) I hope that's somewhat helpful!
Watch Jess Gonacha Swift's Intro Video
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Please feel free to add to the conversation, ask more questions, whatever! And don't forget that everyone who leaves us a comment is entered to win one of my New Year Goal & Intention kits. (They're really fun, if I'm allowed to say so myself!)
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